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Pizza Picnics

We have been running this fall. we have been in many cities and have seen many wonderful things not the least of which is my new nephew and most recent niece!

I am homebody (tho my friends at home no longer believe me after our past 2 months of travel!) and I relish being able to vauum my rug or organize a cupboard. also I like to walk my neighborhood and pick pretty leaves. I like easy playdates and meals with friends.

But tonight I would not want to be anywhere other than right here in our little hotel room having our pizza picnic!

the bums in my brain

why am I awake?

better question. why can I not seem to place the thoughts that run the playground and city streets of my mind onto a nice confined orderly space. the more you know me the more you know i like things orderly and I like for everything to have a home. I diligently remove things from our home that are no longer needed wanted or useful. I lean into minimalism but can not quite stomach the vast loneliness that accompanies it - but the vastness is a draw!

so these hoodlums that ride the sidewalks and stair wells on their skateboards of time throughout my ideas and my thoughts - dont they want a home?

so many opinions, experiences and lessons learned dance and flip and turn laughing - dont they want a home? wouldnt they feel more worthwhile to have a title and a hardback hug?

I have entire lives created in my mind with simple vistas during a drive, and forgotten old homes generates tales of nostalgia and hope, but I am yet to corral these youthful roamers. I can hardly identify like qualities to group them or similar interests to link them..

they only pretend to be interested in what I want - they have a mind of their own but when they frolic as I lay in bed well meaning to sleep I do wish them some order and a home of their own.

what is home

I am in a very happy place. Staying with my beautiful sister, her kind hubby, and adorable kids, currently surrounded by my 3 borrowed loves - I am comfortable, safe, clean, loved.... So then why a tinge of homesickness.

Well this time it is easy. I know why. The other half of me is on a small island trying to create a time and place where people come face to face with things they have never seen or done or known before and that in such moments they look to God to make sense of things in their minds and hearts. When they look for Him they find Him as He promises and then - then they share it with the people around them. Mission trips are neat that way. and i know Chris loves me and I KNOW I love him, Still he is there and I am here and that is why I feel this way.

Funny tho how it occurs that way even when we are all together sometimes. Me and my husband and our children, maybe even extended family - where would any loneliness or homesickness fit? Well without Chris I feel lopsided. and sometimes when I am really in tune with Jesus, I realize more fully my incompleteness, my brokeness my neediness. and in realizing this I know also that whatever I am in the great scheme of things, it wont be finished until I am physically with Jesus. Until I can sit on the floor next to Him and just lean in for a nice long hug.

do not mind the spelling

I am not going to make this an example in English spelling or grammar just fyi.

SOmetimes I will not proof it at all. so

allow your brain to complete it and go with it. ok?

cool

a cup of coffee

There are so many ways to communcate these days though debate is warranted on if there is any real relationships built through some of the available methods. There is too much option for disaccociation. People become two dimensional photos. People become cute quotes and funny screen names.

We can clean up the emotion, rephrase in more euphemistic terms the bad things that occur. We can allow hindsight to color the fear, anxiety, shame of embarrassment we may have felt before we share it with the digital world.

Truthfully humanity is none of these things. It is not clean or cute. There are no euphemism that erase the pain and shame of affairs, the devastion of death, or the filth of our sins.

A good friend of mine said to me the other day - can't anyone make time to sit together and share a cup of coffe? and what she meant even more is that you can not hug a computer, and no one can wipe your tears on a blog. You can not dance jubilantly with victories like silly school kids when the Lord responds in your hoped for favor.

I like the computer. I have sisters in Ohio and Conneticut and my brother is in Japan. I could not hug them anyways. Still we have to be aware-

Lets not strive for the ridiculous facade of perfection.

Lets not lesson the miraculous touch of Jesus when we need Him by lessening in the eyes of other just HOW MUCH we need Him.

so - if you are close - an hour or so?

How about that coffee?

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